Helping others to FREEDOM! - #217

When it comes to ANY temptation, what you see is NOT what you get. That which makes temptation so irresistibly powerful is your perception of what is being offered to you.

Learn more about the ministry of The Purity Coach at  http://www.thepuritycoach.com

Transcript

If someone were to ask you for help to have victory over and freedom from their temptation to lust and look at porn, what would you say? How would you counsel them? When it comes to ANY temptation, what you see is NOT what you get. That which makes temptation so irresistibly powerful is your perception of what is being offered to you. 

Welcome to The Point of Purity Podcast. A powerful weekly study filled to the brim with the all the tools from Scripture you will ever need to build a lasting life of Biblical purity and godliness. I’m your host Steve Etner – author, National Speaker, Certified Professional Mentor TM and Purity Coach for The Pure Man Ministry and this is Episode #217 entitled “Helping Others to Freedom.”

In last week’s episode we talked about what not to do in helping the one struggling with lust, porn, and other forms of sexual sin live instead in victory. You may recall that I share with you four “NO-NO’s” … four “Don’t Do’s.” 

NO NO #1 – Don’t tell them they need to just stop it. 

NO NO #2 – Don’t tell them they need to “try harder.” 

NO NO #3 – Don’t fail to address the spiritual side of the battle. 

NO NO #4 - Don’t fail to address the physical aspect of the battle. 

We then invested some time talking about the physical side of the battle. In this episode we’re going to focus on how to others to freedom from porn addiction by looking at the spiritual side of the battle. But before we do, I want to say one more thing regarding the physical side of the battle for purity.

You see, all too often we try to use the physical side of this battle for purity as an excuse for our sinful choices. We argue, “Well, that’s just the way I am. I can’t help myself.” I submit that excuse is coming directly from the pit of Hell. Understanding the physical side of the battle for purity doesn’t provide us with a “Get out of jail free” card to excuse our sinful choices. It does however help us understand the why of the struggle.

Listen my friend, it’s not that you are a failure. It’s not that there’s something horribly wrong with you. No! It’s a harsh reminder that although you are a born-again, redeemed, rescued, and restored child of God (If you have put your faith upon the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary) … although you are a Christian, you are still struggling with your sinful flesh. Paul writes in Romans 7:18 “I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh.” And in verse 25 he goes on to say, “I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” In Galatians 5:17 we are reminded that “The desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, or these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

OK, let me repeat what I said in the opener to this episode. When it comes to ANY temptation, what you see is NOT what you get. That which makes temptation so powerful is your perception of what is being offered to you. You see, attached to each and every temptation you will ever experience there is a promise. The promise goes something like this: give up and give in to this temptation just one last time, and if you do, you will experience “relief” from your stress, “relief” from your boredom, your frustrations, your loneliness. Give up and give in and I promise you, you’ll feel better.

Here's the problem with the promise – temptation doesn’t actually deliver the promised goods. It teases you something that appears to be pleasurable, enjoyable, something that will meet your needs … only to turn around and hand you something hideous and destructive.

Let me take a moment here and reiterate a point I’ve made in other episodes. Each and every time you are facing a temptation you are also facing a choice. “Do I give up and give in yet again or do I obey James 4:7 and choose instead to fully submit to God?” Watch this now: EVERYTHING you think, say and do is a result of the choice you make. Whom you CHOOSE to worship determines what you CHOOSE to think about. What you CHOOSE to think about determines what you CHOOSE to say and do. What you CHOOSE to say and do determines the consequences that result. 

Romans 8:8 tells us that “those who are in the flesh” (in other words, those who choose to worship King Me) “cannot please God.” And as a Christian, according to 2 Corinthians 5:9 you are to “make it your goal to please God.” In order for that to happen you must keep King Me off the throne of your heart. Another way to put it is this: When King Me is sitting on the throne, you cannot – you will not please God.

I have a question for you. Are you God? The truth is, NO you’re not God, I’m not God, none of us are God and that is because there is only one true God. So, when you are choosing to live for King Me, you are choosing to worship a false god and that is idolatry! Watch this now. The primary reason you are struggling so much with your sinful habits, the reason you are constantly battling with sin in your life is because you’re choosing to worship the wrong God. Only two choices can there be, pleasing God or pleasing me.

So, when someone comes to you looking for help with their battle with their sinful habit – help them understand that no matter what may be going on in their life … no matter the situation, the circumstances, the environment, no matter the excuse they ALWAYS have a choice. Remember what Joshua said to the Children of Israel in Joshua 24:15! “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.” It’s your choice

Let me repeat something I shared with you just a moment ago. Whom you CHOOSE to worship determines what you CHOOSE to think about. What you CHOOSE to think about determines what you CHOOSE to say and do. What you CHOOSE to say and do determines the consequences that result.

That leads me to this next point. With each and every choice you make (good or bad) there will always be consequences. Now here’s the thing about consequences: there’s an old adage that says, “you can choose your actions, but you cannot choose the consequences.” I challenge that though. I submit that you CAN choose your consequences by choosing your actions. 

Let me support that with Scripture. You see, in Genesis 4:7 God is talking with Cain just before he kills his brother Able, and here is what God said: “You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” 

I want you to notice two things here. The choice and the consequence. “IF” you do what is right – there’s the choice. “You will be accepted” – there’s the consequence. So, to experience the consequence of God’s acceptance you must choose to do what is right (choose to let God reign on the throne of your heart). On the flip side “IF you refuse to do what is right” – there’s the choice. “Sin is … eager to control you” – there’s  the consequence. So, if you want your sinful habit to consume your life and control you, then go ahead and choose to keep King Me on the throne of your heart. Choice, consequence.

So often, we try to juggle our allegiances, bouncing between self-gratification and devotion to God. But this spiritual juggling act is an illusion. In reality, every choice we make is turning us toward one king or the other.

A great verse to help us understand this concept is Matthew 6:24 where Jesus says, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and (not God).” 

The first thing I want you to notice in this verse are the words “no one.” No one can serve two masters. It is an absolute negation, meaning neither man nor woman, not even one. Absolutely, positively no one can serve two masters at the same time. It is not possible. 

Let me illustrate it this way. Place both your hands directly in front of you, palms up. As you look at your hands, imagine that resting in your left palm is a large rubber ball. Across the front of that ball are letters that spell the words “King Me.” Now imagine that in your right palm you are holding another rubber ball emblazoned across the front with three large letters that spell the word “God.”

Now alternately bounce your hands up and down as if you were juggling. The enemy wants you to believe life is a never-ending juggling act, bouncing between Me and God. Me—God. Me—God. Me—God. Most of the time, I tend to make my life more about King Me than I do God. I definitely need to focus more of my life around being about God and less about me. It is a daily juggling act. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In Matthew 6:24 Jesus is saying that no one can serve both King Me and God. It is not possible. It will always be either / or.

Instead of holding your hands directly in front of you, fully extend them outward to either side of you (as if you were hanging on a cross) with your palms facing upward. Again, imagine that resting in the palm of your left hand is the ball labeled “King Me” and in your right is the ball labeled “God.”

With your arms fully extended to either side in a fixed position (they stay stationary and cannot move), if you want to look at your left hand, what must you do? You must choose to turn your head to the left. By virtue of the fact that you have turned your head to the left, you have also automatically turned your head away from the right.

If you want to look at your right hand, you must now choose to turn your head away from the left and look at the right. You cannot see both at the same time. Of necessity it is strictly one or the other: right or left, never both.

Now put this illustration alongside Matthew 6:24. “No one can serve two masters, for you will hate one and love the other.” It is your choice whom you will serve. If you choose to worship and love King Me, you have automatically chosen to hate God because you have turned your back on Him in favor of King Me.

In practical terms, when you choose to give up and give in to your sinful passions and desires you are not just choosing to love yourself, you have also automatically chosen to hate God. You cannot have it both ways. Jesus goes on to say, “you will be devoted to one and despise the other.” Again, it is entirely up to you. Your choice. You can choose to despise self, to turn your back on King Me; denying yourself, taking up your cross (see Luke 9:23) and turning your whole being to worship and devotion to God. The decision is yours alone to make. Just remember, you cannot serve both. Only two choices can there be: pleasing God or pleasing me.

OK. Let me wrap up today’s episode with a couple final thoughts. First, when helping someone identify their sinful habit and understand their struggle, ALWAYS get to the heart of the matter. Remember the illustration of Matthew 6:24 with King Me on the LEFT and God on the RIGHT … and with that visual firmly established in your mind listen to Ecclesiastes 10:2 which says, “A wise man’s heart directs him toward the RIGHT, but the foolish man’s heart directs him toward the LEFT.”

And my final thought for this week is this: what and whom you are choosing to worship before the moment of temptation will greatly determine your choices at the moment of temptation. 

Now, if you’re anything like me, having a physical, tangible tool or guide in my hands is a tremendous help. I have created such a tool. I am referring to “The Point of Purity” Workbook! Available on Amazon. This workbook is the accumulation and culmination of 13 years of coaching, mentoring, and counseling men in the area of porn addiction and sexual purity.

“The Point of Purity” Workbook is a 12-week accountability study of God’s Word focused on equipping and training men and women on how to overcome an addiction to lust, porn and masturbation. Throughout this workbook you and your accountability partner or small group will walk through Scripture together, discovering from God’s Word how you can be free. 

Each week you are equipped with powerful tools from Scripture that will help you not only BE free, but LIVE free. You will learn how to effectively change your thought process when faced with temptation (not just sexual temptation, but actually any and all temptation). You will discover how to submit yourself to God, standing firmly against the temptation and successfully resist it every time. 

“The Point of Purity” Workbook is a powerful journey through Scripture to help you discover the point of purity. Why should I be pure? What's wrong with a little "forbidden pleasure" from time to time? You will also learn how to get to the point of purity - living daily in freedom and victory over temptation. 

You see, the real problem we struggle with is not lust, porn, masturbation, or any other form of sexual temptation. The real problem is a worship disorder. Who is sitting on the throne of your heart? Whom are you choosing to worship and why? “The Point of Purity” Workbook is a deep dive into Scripture to help answer this all-important question and discover how to dethrone King Me, allowing God to be Lord and leader of every part of your life.

So be sure to visit Amazon.com today and get your copy of “The Point of Purity” Workbook”

And if you have not yet subscribed to this podcast, let me encourage you to do so today so you won’t miss any of our upcoming episodes! So, until next time this is Steve Etner – author, National Speaker, Certified Professional Mentor TM and Purity Coach for The Pure Man Ministry – reminding you that if you are going to glorify God in your everyday living, He must first be glorified in your every moment thinking.